Why I Loved Teaching… But it Didn’t Love Me.
Let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room. I create music resources, and by way of this blog and other outlets, give advice and best practices to music teachers around the globe. Yet, I am no longer actively teaching in a K-12 classroom. In order to explain, let’s start at the beginning.
I began teaching high school choir in 2006, and from the very beginning I was hooked. It wasn’t without difficulties (first year teaching is no joke!) but I found immense joy in my students and in my classroom. In the 10 or so years that followed, I did many of the usual things that music teachers do: graduated with my Master’s degree, maintained a private voice studio, traveled between several district buildings/levels in order to be full-time, ran after school programs, directed the musical, took students to competitions and retreats, directed a community choir, and the list goes on. I also became a mom and struggled to find a work-life balance amongst the chaos. I loved what I was doing, but also felt an underlying current of unhappiness at being spread so thin.
In 2018, an opportunity to switch districts arose, and I took the leap because it allowed me to be closer to my family. The first year was filled with a lot of new and exciting changes, and I was thriving. Tired, but thriving. I missed my first district, but my new students were wonderful and welcoming and I knew I was meant to be there with them.
Fast forward a year and half to March 2020 when Covid hit. I don’t need to rehash all of those details… we all lived it. My teaching world had been turned upside down. I was teaching online, simply doing the best I could. I HATED teaching choir online, but secretly I was loving the content creation, computer-techie assignments, and had drunk the Google Classroom “kool-aid”. In the months (and year…) that followed, I navigated teaching online, hybrid, in-person, concurrently, and a partridge in a pear tree. There were some really high highs, and some really low lows. Through it all, I began to examine my work, my priorities and realized I needed some space to reevaluate and reassess.
“I still loved the idea of teaching, but I realized it wasn’t loving ME in return.”
I’m not sure if you would call it teacher burnout, after-effects from pandemic teaching, or simply shifting priorities, but I realized that I needed to step away from teaching. I still loved the idea of teaching, but I realized it wasn’t loving me. I didn’t love the way teaching made ME feel. And I couldn’t evaluate those feelings from within my classroom. I needed to step away to gain clarity.
So I did.
I don’t know if it’s temporary or permanent, but I am finding joy in the NOW. I’m choosing a life full of love and joy. I get to geek out over content and resource creation, and I am tapping into more creativity than ever before. I’m singing for ME and still able to offer my experience to music students around the state as a clinician and festival adjudicator. I am highly involved in my state music organizations, and get to throw my full energy behind a cause that I support so deeply.
The world NEEDS passionate, supported, and joyful music teachers. I am privileged to offer resources to support you in your journey, even though my own journey took a different turn.
